We’re remarkably good at adapting to things. I noticed this the other day in a public restroom that smelled terrible. At first I was repulsed, but after a few minutes I barely noticed it anymore. My brain had simply adjusted.
This adaptation ability is one of our greatest strengths as humans. It’s how we survive difficult circumstances and push through challenges that would otherwise overwhelm us. But it’s also one of our greatest weaknesses.
Because we adapt so well (like a boiling frog), we often don’t notice when we’re slowly sinking into bad situations. The person who complains constantly becomes background noise. The toxic workplace starts feeling normal. The drama-filled relationship just becomes “how things are.”
Jim Rohn shared an anecdote about someone asking him for advice about their recurring problems. And he responded with, “I don’t know, beats me. The best I’ve been able to figure out is those kind of things always happen to people like you.” We often become the common denominator in our own problems.
The first time you find yourself in a toxic environment, you might not recognize it. And that’s understandable. But if you notice the pattern and stayed anyway, that’s really on you, and you can’t really blame anyone else. You’ve chosen to remain in that environment.
Of course, life isn’t always black and white. Sometimes what feels like a permanent problem is just temporary discomfort. It’s the difference between stepping in shit and catching a whiff of a fart. One sticks with you, the other just passes through. The goal is figuring out which is which.
A simple litmus test is by waiting. If you stay in a situation longer and the negative aspects persist or worsen, you’re probably dealing with something systemic rather than temporary. Time reveals the true nature of most environments.
Some people try to fix toxic environments by adding positive elements, bringing in good people, adding new policies, spraying metaphorical air freshener. But I’ve never seen it work in practice.
Surprisingly, there’s value in revisiting a bad environment. When you go through something truly awful, it sharpens your sense of what good actually feels like. And the good news is, unlike a boiling frog, this time you know you’re in a shitty environment.